did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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