He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
