I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I've blown a few things in my day
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i out mim tonsoeep
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