hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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