STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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