Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
