And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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