I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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