Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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