margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She bit a glass in half.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
