That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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