She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
They are going to name an STD after you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
