Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just want nice things and good sex
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
