she was so not down for the gang bang
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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