I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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