i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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