PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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