I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
