What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
