Farmville is her only friend.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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