We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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