You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Drake has all the answers
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
