i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
