I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Houston, we have a blender
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
