A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
