You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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