Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
