Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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