What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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