butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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