Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
