Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i don't like sucking hair
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize