why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
