We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
