hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
