I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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