I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
