I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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