I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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