Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
