I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
