I have demons in me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
please come you make the beer taste better
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
