I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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