this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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