I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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