Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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