I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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