ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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