"it" just moved
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
