oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
