So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
