I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
