Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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