Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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