VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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