i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
