Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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