I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think people are normalizing furries
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
