Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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