I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
time to smoke my breakfast
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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