Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
