I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have aggressive nipples.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
