I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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